Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 12:34 PM
sometimes we just find it hard to achieve what we wished for.
and i don't see how this year would be a good one.
resultswise. i'd just opt and say i wouldn't comment.
but the truth? i'm failing everything you can think of.
whats happening to the dream gpa.
and i realised that writing compositions are actually quite interesting.
it just so happens that my year1&2 higherchinese compos fail without any cause.
i guess one always has to be solitized to start picking up from scratch.
this year's chinese is really tough to score, but i'll do my best. i shant get any Cs/Ds for it.
just thought that i'd post a composition i did. its the best so far. at least best compo that i did
by myself. okay that just proves to show that i didnt always do on my own. -sigh-
and heres my latest compo. i'd be happy to even know of anyone willing to read my CHINESEwork. usually nobody bothers about my chinese works. unless they want a laugh.
爸爸和我凌晨的飞机，最孤单的旅行，从相机里面检视着回忆，仿佛看到爸爸的背影。我沉默。爸爸给我的爱与关怀，这几年来我却不理睬。小学赢了美术比赛得到冠军，当时的他对我笑，但没开口对我说话。
八岁时，到东海岸公园散步。我跌伤了。爸爸伸出手把我拉上来，用那双慈祥的眼睛望着我。他帮我擦伤，我把他推开，怪他，怪他因为粗心而自己的儿子跌伤了，怪他因为粗心而妈妈在一次车祸失去生命。当时的他不知是惭愧或难过而突然变得沉默，再没开口对我说话。
在生命中的很多时段，我就这样，对他只有满怀的恨，一点感激都没有。到了中学，同学们都有最新的名牌物品，我向他要钱。尽管他每日工作忙到三更半夜，晚上还得亲自下厨，没有一次埋怨过，我却依然坚持着对他的恨。
十六，就等到这一年他才终于开口向我说话。当我听到爸爸的心声，我感受到他的亲切，感触到一种特异的温暖。可他对我说的那句话，却是我做梦中也无法想到的。“儿子，你已经长大了，应该很懂事。爸爸其实得了长期的癌症，就怕不能在你身边照顾你。你可别担心，我相信凭你这样的坚强，定能够继续开心活着。”我们做人，不顾别人的心情已经够狠了，但我当时却回答道，“你就想这样把我抛开吗？你不在，难道要我自己做家务做工养自己吗？”一直以来不向我“说话”的他，尽说：“她会来接你。。。”
我再也没有开口跟他说话。
今日，爸爸逝世了。我乘着飞机，想起过去几年的。自己惭愧。妈妈坐在身旁，对我笑。爸爸在过去几年却把真实的痛苦埋在自己心里。妈妈因为我小时候常生病，很难照顾，增添她在事业上已经够忙的烦恼。她当时因为想追逐事业成功，却把自己的孩子抛下。爸爸真够伟大。他不因为自己那么努力但却无法让孩子接受他而埋怨，更是一个人辛苦的承担一切。我竟如此放肆，连自己父亲都骂，我还算人吗？
坐在身旁的她，我无法接受，想起爸爸的爱与关怀，我内疚。心里难受。。。
okay its kinda time for me to find the mood to edit my blog profile. its just.
empty?
& jeremyy. i feel less oily already. i washed my face 5times straight. just leave the cheeks alone in future :)
