Tuesday, May 06, 2008 at 12:31 PM
i'll start from the very beginning. lessons. yes.
maths made me sleep undoubtedly, if i wasnt sleeping. i wouldnt be paying attention. anyway just an update, i scored 13.5/26 for the ct3. i cnt believe im so suckky. and higherchinese. not many of us actually paid xuelaoshi respect and listen. sorry. you're my fav teacher and yet im so dissapointing. & i better buck up my maths. bryn. if not you're so fcking screwed for your whole year!
well. thats just dumb ranting just over results. anyway congrats to chualiwen from 3d for coming up with a wonderous design for our lvl camp shirt. im most delighted and honored to wear the teee done by a fellow schmate. whoa. im so happy :D its a good thing too. because nobody in the whole lvl would want to be insulted if they wore my design. it would be a humilation to themselves :D
thats two of my happiness posted. i guess interclass. is going to be memorable. deeply memorable.
& i guess it has to be. its too hard to forget what happened.
but it was so ironic. im supporting and wanting my class to win whilst hoping that she does well too. its like, before my own match. im nervous & stuff. i was thinking that i'll screw the match for my own class. hate that feeling when you lose for your class. i rather not play to begin with. jf blames himself. like no duh. im such a letdown. daren says he was at fault cause he didnt perform well. sean. didnt get to ask him. but i've let him down too. just blame me. but everyone of them refused to blame no other but themselves.even guangyi thinks he shld be sorry cause he let the class down. oh mann, accidents are bound to happen. sometimes you cnt block every goal. thats life. but i couldnt even do my part to make the game any bttr. i stood standing there for a couple of minutes. i guess i forgotten i was on the field in the middle of a match. i wasnt even looking at my surroundings. but i was, looking down. staring at the ground. enjoying the taste of blood inside my mouth. indulging in pain. that addicition. how sweet.
all because the opposing team had to kick a high ball towards us DAMN HARD. and i was trying to block it. okay i did block it. because it smashed my face. my eyes were numb and pain. and my mouth aching. i opened it to realise it was bleeding. badly. i looked in the mirror afterwards to realise that the braces & teeth had shifted from its original arrangement. how fckedup this is. but this is my personal issue. its no excuse for me to stone on the field. fine i get scolded by my team. i know its my fault. sorry. we're seeded yet we fucking couldnt make it. fck.
nvm. it was the girl turn. iris really is the class' shining star. if not, our star player. and laura spiked the bball as chunseng told her to. it was freaking imba. i didnt expect her to follow. but she spiked it and the ball flew with large impact, out of court. lololol. i felt the warmth when keith/jeremy/others came to us after our match with drinks from ft ms fang. then whilst we supported the girls as a class. i finally felt the bonding amongst us. its beautiful. till somebody ruined it at the end of the day. dnt they realise that they dont know whats with me & my past year life. i wouldnt tell them. but if only they could undst.
stll. i felt the wind. i knew it would alright. and another contradiction. the wind was formidable. crushing down our class's victims. but, i didnt want to see it injured. and i felt it as it fell. i felt smth. i dnt know why. im not supposed to. i was supposed to give it up long ago.but as i felt it. i realised. i realised something that sometimes its really hard to.
& i've decided to stop the post. i hate times like such when i really have to go on. but im out of time to. nvm. love, bryan (:
talking abt true friends. they're awesome. they make you feel bttr. but they hurt you too.
"they're not about how much you have. but how you make use of them"-bryan
