Thursday, May 01, 2008 at 9:31 AM
i mean. this is really so bryan. what i've done is just so bryan.
i didnt want to, but i saw a need for something to be done.
im selfish. i didnt bother about how the others might feel.
but instead, i saw a need to influence and change someone.
thats helping someone. thats being kind to both myself and everyone.
but isnt that selfish and blunt. wouldnt it be better it i had my mouth shut.
if things were to reach the state of the past year, its my fault.
last time it wasnt. but this time round, i had a choice.
i made my own decision. still bothways i selfish.
but i had integrity. i didnt want to contradict my own story.
i didnt want to make anyone feel left out or hated.
that feeling isnt good. its not as though you will love it if it happened to you.
unless you're some emo freak. like whatever addiction to pain.
but having an addiction to pain be it physical or emotional is perverted.
like eew. so i made my move k. im sorry if anyone is unsatisfied.
hate me if you must. im glad some ppl can relate and undst my decisions.
i just wanted to be truthful to myself.
i personally dislike ppl who go into means of hiding it from you and hurting you even more.
why not learn then change. what if you werent even given the opportunity to change.
yes, this is life.
life comes in various forms.
life can be tasted or smelt.
life can be seen or heard.
but life, cannot be felt.
tell me the truth, how many times in life could you really feel the existence of life.
not living breath, but i mean life. as in L I F E.
fudge. im becoming another random fweakk.
and i so dontwant lvl camp to come.
i bet i'll be alone. lonely. and sad. or rather scared.
i had a reason for saying the above. trust me.
i do everything for a purpose. whoa imagine anw.
lvl camp is two weeks away.
im already hating it. but at least my bunkmate compensates the sorrow.
cheerful VS emo. yea outcome: neutralise. hahhh i still cnt get over me being 2nd!
SECOND m'dear. SECOND.
anyway, you, dont think too much lahr really. (this you is a clsmate)
and phish. trust me. you'll be feeling that way now. in a couple of weeks, it'll be fine. different but fine. trust yourself if you dnt wanna trust me. im sorry and i feel useless not being able to help. but in such situations, no one can help. i dnt even know what happened. just be strong, overcome it. and relax. i really hope you'll be well by lvl camp. still, love from a friend (:
-bryan
